WHY WE SHOULD TREAT EVERYONE AS IF THEY ARE 9 MONTHS PREGNANT:

I am 9 months pregnant with our first child.  This whole pregnancy world has been new and uncharted territory for me.  A 9 month opportunity for growth in many forms.  

My first lesson began around the time when my belly was obviously carrying a child and not just a large burrito. A stranger stared at me with a smile on her face.  After realizing I didn't know her, dread fell over me as I thought maybe she was smiling for a much more embarrassing reason.  So I did the quick 1-2-3 check.  Zipper down? Nope. Booger hanging out of my nose? Nope.  Coffee/Chocolate stain on my shirt? Nope.  Shew!  Coast is clear.  But she was still staring.  What is her deal?  Well, it didn't stop with her. As the days went by, the stares continued.  That's when I started realizing this was to be my new "pregnant Jess" norm. Walking around in a perpetual spotlight was the first of many growth opportunities I've been given along the way. 

Over the last 9 months of interacting with people as "pregnant Jess",  I've come to the conclusion that we should treat EVERYONE like they're 9 months pregnant. 

I know, you think I'm crazy. Hear me out.

Yes, there are the inevitable rude comments that are made to pregnant mommas, the unsolicited advice, the same 3 questions asked for 9 months and strangers who aren't afraid to touch your belly. 

But at the end of the day, these few things are pretty insignificant when compared to the upside.    

WHY WE SHOULD TREAT EVERYONE AS IF THEY ARE 9 MONTHS PREGNANT:

When you're pregnant people are more likely to see you.

It's true. And it's not just because you're, well, a good bit bigger. I'll admit, I'm not one for small talk.  So I have to really work at making eye contact with the grocery store clerk or the front desk receptionist and ask how they're doing.  But what I've found since I've been pregnant is that in a sea of people, amidst the hustle and bustle of everyday life, people notice the pregnant lady and are eager to engage.  I've had more conversations with strangers in the last 9 months than I probably have had in the 9 years prior.  And you know what?  It's been so great!  People really are sweet and intriguing and have a story to share. Sometimes I think we forget that adults are just grown up versions of the precious little pint sized miracles that we oooh and ahhh over as babies.  They're just older.  With wrinkles not caused by 9 months in a cozy water womb, but wrinkles worn in by a lifetime of experiences and hardships and laughter.  In our world of social media "connection", it's really good for the soul to have face to face connections with mankind. The little seemingly innocent versions of mankind, and the older, rough around the edges versions.  Slow down and truly see the person in front of you or next to you.  Pretend they're pregnant if you have to.  Then do something crazy, like start a conversation with them.  (Maybe just don't start the conversation with, "So when is your baby due?")

When you're pregnant people often put your needs above their own.  

I remember being in the airport when I was 6 months pregnant, often oblivious to my new look- aka my belly bump. I was caught off guard by how kind everyone was being to me.  People would let me cut in line in front of them,  or get up off the seat in the airport train so that I could sit down, or help me lift my carry-on into the overhead bin.  These were perfect strangers, and in reality, I didn't NEED to cut in line or sit down on the train, but it seemed the whole world was considerate of my perceived needs simply because I was pregnant.  I know many women get annoyed with everyone wanting to be so helpful when they're pregnant.  ("I'm not disabled, I'm PREGNANT!!!)

But I can't help but think about what a more beautiful world this would be, if we all would give even half of the concern and consideration towards everyone we meet that the world tends to instinctively give to pregnant women.  Kindness is a lovely thing.  Wouldn't it be so great if kindness and compassion was so much the norm, that our response to a stranger's kindness wasn't skepticism or offense?  Go out of your way to be kind to someone today- you shouldn't have to be 9 months pregnant to experience the wealth of kindness people have to offer. (And for the record, I'm definitely at that point where I'll take the seat you've offered.  My baby bump and I thank you.)

When you're pregnant people extend grace.  I can't tell you how many things I've forgotten, or how many times my crazy pregnancy hormones were wack and I lost it,  or how many nights I've opted to say no to the fun social event in order to lay on the couch and rest.  Many times over the last 9 months I've felt like an awful human, friend, spouse.  To my surprise, everyone has just been so gracious.  For some reason, when you're pregnant, it's ok to not be superhuman.  (Maybe growing a human is superhuman enough?!)  If you need to rest?  People understand.  If you act out of turn or aren't your usual spunky self? People get it.  You make mistakes when you're pregnant just the same (or more so) than you do when you're not, but it seems everyone is just so much less judgmental and more gracious.  There seems to be a freedom that comes with pregnancy to be human, to take care of yourself, and to not have it all together.  These last 9 months have been a sweet balm on my perfectionistic affliction.  I've learned to receive the grace offered by so many and I've even begun to be kinder to myself.  

When you're pregnant you're a walking display of a miracle in the making.  I don't know how else to say it, but the miracle of life is a delight to those who see it.  I can't tell you how many times I catch people just looking at my growing belly and smiling.   It's usually people I've never met and often times they are across the parking lot or grocery store from me, but they smile.  You see, life is precious.  And there's something so incredibly delightful about the wonder and miracle of new life.  It's amazing, isn't it?  The whole process of how life is initiated and sustained INSIDE of another human.  Then there's the way the mom and the baby's bodies work together to give birth to this new life and all the ways we're designed to continue nurturing and caring for this new life once the baby is born!  Absolutely mind boggling and totally captivating.  It's no wonder why people stare.  If you've ever started to feel weighed down by the heaviness of life, find yourself a pregnant lady to stare at!  (Don't be an awkward creeper about it now, discretion people!) Let yourself get lost in the wonder of the fact that there is a HUMAN that is growing inside of her.  Let the miracle of new life inject awe and wonder into your own life and bring you delight.

(If you can't find a pregnant lady to stare at, come find me.  Only you better hurry, because this little miracle will soon be delighting us all on the outside!)

There have been many gifts in this season of my life, but one of them has definitely been a new outlook on how I see others.   Why do we need to wait until someone is pregnant to consider their needs above our own?  Why do we need pregnancy as an excuse to offer grace to those who mess up or to forgive ourselves when we make mistakes?  Why can't we look a stranger in the eye, chat with the sales clerk and slow down long enough to truly see the walking miracles that are all around us? 

That person in the car in front of you that is going five miles below the speed limit?  That teenager that just slammed their bedroom door in your face?  That person on the other end of the Facebook political debate?  That man that you promised forever to but now you can't seem to remember why?  They were all once miracles, growing inside their mother's womb, delighting strangers from every walk of life.  Can you see it?  Do you see them?

Life is a gift.  A miracle in its conception and a miracle in its sustaining.   Shift your perspective, choose to engage face to face with people of ALL walks of life, choose to offer kindness and to extend grace.  Choose to see each and every person as a miracle in process: whether 9 months or 93 years in the making. Then sit back and watch in awe as the greatest miracle just might be new life arising in you.