It's raining.....

It's raining today.  Not the downpour, here then gone, sweet lightening storm rain either.  The Seattle all day drip kinda rain.  Today didn't start rainy though.  The sun was shining and after several days of snow and snow plow salt covering my jeep I decided a car wash would be a good idea. 
     Eight dollars and one Deluxe car wash later I was on my way driving around a clean car feeling pretty good about things.  Then the rain.  Seriously? SERIOUSLY?  I don't wash my jeep nearly enough and the one time I actually did it's going to rain?  SERIOUSLY?!?
     I got back to my place and headed up the stairs and as I got to the top of my deck I saw my flower pots and I smiled.  "If only it were a few months later and I had flowers planted, then I would be LOVING this rain.... there's nothing that makes a planter full of flowers look better than a slow rain."
    Isn't it interesting how warped we can be in our thinking?  Rain is rain.  But somehow, my response to the rain is completely dependent on my circumstances and timing.
     I've been around long enough to know that the rain is gonna come.  Life is just like that.  We live in a messed up, fallen world.  But somehow I think I'm entitled to decide what kind of rain should fall on me and when.  There are certain kinds of "rain" that I'd like to think I don't deserve, and I certainly don't think I should have to walk through those kinda storms.  It's as if I'm saying, "Let's see God, I know the rain is coming sometime, so I would like my rain to be in the form of my vehicle breaking down right as I am driving past the mechanic shop when I have nowhere in particular I need to be, and, oh, by the way, my car happens to be under warranty so it won't cost me a thing."  That's the kinda rain I can deal with.  Sure, I will complain about it to my friends for a few days, but that rain oughta last me awhile.
      But rain that hurts?  Like REALLY hurts?  That aching of the soul that makes it impossible to form words around?  The kind of rain that keeps you up all night and praying all day?  I don't want or deserve that kind of rain.  And I certainly don't want it now.  Wow. 
    And now is when I say to  myself- seriously? SERIOUSLY?!?  How foolish I sound.  How ignorant and egocentric I am.  What makes me think that I deserve my kind of rain?  What makes me think I deserve anything other than death?  The rain falls on the righteous and the unrighteous (Matthew 5:45).  And it is only by His grace and mercy that I can live the abundant life. 

     So let the rain fall.  Let it mingle with my tears.  Because the same God that collects each tear that falls is the God that put a new song in my heart and gives me reason to dance in the rain.