I know there’s nothing magical about the threshold of my home. But since the COVID-19 outbreak began, I’m telling you, something very strange happens when I cross that threshold.
I have found when I am home with my family, life feels nearly normal. In many ways it has felt extra sweet. Threats to our security and safety, often bring a heightened awareness of all that God has graciously given us. A renewed gratitude for the basics. Resting in the simple joys of life. This has been such a welcomed emotion during this tumultuous time.
But I work in healthcare.
Although my job is not on the front lines, where I am caring for the known severe cases of the novel Coronavirus, I am working with the public. Specifically those who may be immuno-compromised or otherwise unwell.
Each morning as I cross the threshold on my way to work I begin to feel the anxiety rise. Who is going to be coming in that should be staying home? Who is wisely choosing to stay home but are they okay? What can I do to protect those that are coming in to limit their exposure and yet still provide excellent care? How do I balance the very real, yet unseen threat of COVID-19 with the very real threat of debility, isolation and depression that often comes with being home-bound?
Once I begin my day, provide care and perhaps more importantly, listen as my patients share their concerns, my anxiety level evens out. I have a role to play and it’s a role I feel honored to have.
I clock out. I drive home. I cross the threshold.
Once again the anxiety rises. Who have I been in contact with today who’s been exposed to the novel Coronavirus? Did I thoroughly disinfect and sanitize everything potentially carrying this disease into my home? As my son nuzzles his face into mine I find myself pulling back. Should I let him be this close? Am I carrying the virus without symptoms back into my home to expose my family? Will my unborn child be okay?
The tension that arises with each crossing of the threshold feels like a lump in my throat and a pit in my stomach. Should I be at work more? Should I be at home more?
The Holy Spirit is so good to bring to mind scripture at times when we need it most.
Psalm 121:8 says, “The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”
Is that crazy or what? I have written this verse on my door to read every time I cross the threshold. Each morning as I'm talking with the Lord I pray this verse. I tell him that He said He would watch over my coming and going and I thank Him for His protection I don't tell Him this to remind Him, as if He's forgotten, but rather to remind my heart. God's word is true. This word is true. I can trust Him. It doesn’t mean the questions and tension is non-existent. What it means is I can step out (or in) knowing full well that the Lord Himself is watching over my coming and going.
What a faithful companion He is.
Friends, if you haven’t been already, will you please consider adding the medical professionals onto your prayer list? While I am not on the front lines, many people I love dearly are. It’s an unbelievably stressful and challenging time for them. The sacrifices they are or will have to make in order to be there to care for all of us is astounding. Pray for them. Encourage them. Thank them.
Stay home and stay safe. When you must go out, remember that the Lord is watching over your coming and going.
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