Soul Stirrings: To Oliver, my son

To Oliver, my son.

Someday, when I get to heaven, I am going to ask one of the angels what it sounded like at 1:29pm on November 21, 2018. I can just picture this heavenly being smiling as if he knows just why I’m asking— he opens the log book, sure to not miss a detail. Sliding his finger down the page he is scanning, his warmth intensifies as his finger stops at this point in time. He describes in radiant words an eruption of worship that filled every corner of the heavenly realms— melding perfectly with the last of my guttural groans and the first of your fresh baby cries. Then the song began to swell, growing to a crescendo as the news traveled to friends and family that at long last, you were here.

You see, dear one, the doctor told us you were never to be. So we cried and prayed and we asked our friends and family to pray, and they did. We asked God to do what only He could do. We resolved to believe that His plans were best— no matter what. Then one day, God began a glorious work. Did you know that God knit you in mommy’s womb? He knew just exactly what strengths, quirks and aptitude you would need to impact this world in all the ways He has planned—mighty ways and unassuming ways. He went through his heavenly workshop picking out the pieces to make you like no one this world has ever known. And mommy and daddy waited. Forty weeks and six days, we waited for God to prepare you for your great debut.

While we were waiting, we were learning about how God had created mommy’s body to nurture and sustain you and to one day help you come out to meet us. We dreamed about who you might be. Mom thought you were a girl, daddy knew you were a boy. As the sun came up each morning, we wondered, “Is today the day?”. Then night would fall and I’d fall asleep early, anxious to get to tomorrow. Then one day, the doctor said it was time for you to meet us and we couldn’t wait much longer. We ran home to grab our bags, a bite to eat and to linger one last time in your nursery—a family of two, on the verge of you. We set off to the hospital with our bags and our nerves in tow.

The nurse gave me medicine to tell my body to get to work. And work we did! We were a team, baby. You and me. Listening to each other’s cues and moving at just the right time, in just the right way. With daddy guiding us, protecting us and taking care of us. We all worked very very hard. Sometimes we got tired and didn’t think we could do it, but God was there the whole time giving us little gifts along the way. We had just what we needed at just the right time. Those little gifts were things like the perfect worship song, a drink of cold ice water, a really great on-call doctor, your daddy’s hand on the side of my face, and your Aunt Lauren and Nona helping and encouraging along the way. Daddy and I couldn’t have imagined how hard it would be but we were determined to worship the Lord through the pain and exhaustion. And we did! Never have I worshipped God like I did that day.

With whatever voice I could find between cries of pain, I cried out in praise to the God who was there from the very beginning and will be there in the end. Alpha and Omega.

As the hours passed by, and the pushing was getting harder, Mommy was convinced you were too cozy in her belly to want to come out. But when the doctor said, “Your baby has a full head of dark hair!” I realized you were so close to being in my arms. I couldn’t wait four more pushes, so in one, two, THREE you were here! The room erupted with cheers. From strangers to family, everyone in that room shouted with joy! What an entrance you made!

You cried, too. I can’t imagine what that trip was like for you. You were brave from the beginning. Once the doctor placed you on my chest, you began to make the most adorable tiny little noises. The doctor smiled when she heard it and said you were “sing-songy”. It was the most beautiful sound my ears have ever heard. And I knew you were joining all of creation in singing to Him!

“Come into His presence with singing! Know that the Lord, He is God! It is He who made us, and we are His!...Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise!” Psalm 100:2-3

How fitting that you were born the day before Thanksgiving. Our 9lb,15oz reminder to give thanks to the Lord for He is so very good!

On this, your first birthday, we will sing again. Celebrating all that God has done. May every “Happy Birthday” that’s ever sung be a reminder of that first glorious celebration song.

Oh my son, you are a gift from God. A reason to worship indeed! I pray that each day you find a reason to sing. In the most painful moments, and in the most beautiful. God is there and He is worthy of your praise.

Sing to Him! How could we not?