Why I turned my head from cancer.

........and I felt lonely.

Really lonely. 

And I couldn't pinpoint just why. 

I just knew in that moment that I felt a million miles away from everyone.  Like a castaway at sea with no way home.

"What is wrong with me?"

It's an awful feeling.  To feel so isolated and apart.

I had just spent time with my friend who is battling cancer.  As she began to share with me, I found myself looking away.  Trying desperately not to see her.  I wanted to be present and to love her well by listening intently, but instead I found myself squirming in my seat.  I turned my head from cancer. 

I walked away feeling terrible.  Being someone who is high in empathy and compassion, and someone who spends my day working with people who are hurting, I could NOT make sense of what just happened. 

Why did I turn my head from cancer?

The truth is, I was scared.

I refused to look at her because I was scared of what I might see.

To truly look at my friend in this place of uncertainty, was to see my own humanity.

If she can get cancer, I can get cancer.

 

If she can live a healthy life one day and the next day have to fight for it, then no one I love is safe.  

And I wept. 

I hate that.  I HATE CANCER!  And I hate that as a human, I have no control of what may befall me or the ones I hold close.

But when I refuse to truly see my brothers and sisters, I refuse to acknowledge my own humanity. 

And that's a lonely place to live.

Truth is, when I dare to look at you, I recognize that fear in your eyes, because it grips me too.

When I take time to truly see you, I understand the longing, because I feel it too.

I can identify with your doubt because it clouds my mind too.

When I'm willing to acknowledge your pain, my heart nods in agreement, "Hey, me too."

You're not alone.  I'm with you.

Shared humanity.

You see this world is full of lonely people like me who are desperate to belong.  To know they aren't alone.  To connect in deep places. 

You know these people.  Chances are, on occasion, you are these people. 

Could it be that somewhere beneath all the excuses, you are lonely because you refuse to face your humanity? 

I know it's scary.  Terrifying at times.  I know it feels safer to live under the illusion that we're in control.  That we are somehow immune to the hurts and hurdles that make us, well, human.  But it's also lonelier.  So much lonelier.

Dear lonely heart, DON'T TURN YOUR HEAD AWAY!  I am convinced that our lonely cries would be quieted if we would only see.

If we would look long enough at our fellow mankind to say,

"Hey, me too."

You may not realize it, but when we refuse to identify with our humanity, we are essentially claiming to be a deity of sorts.  Above and outside the laws of humanity. 

While we are busy trying to deny our brokenness,  our divine God emptied himself and took on the likeness of man.  Jesus wasn't afraid of our humanity. 

In fact, it says in Philippians 2:8, "And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross."

 If God was willing to take on human likeness to connect with us and to share our humanity, what greater example do we need?  Not only did Jesus face humanity, but he willingly subjected himself to the rawest reality of humanity: death. 

 Jesus shared in our humanity to provide us a chance to never be lonely again.

Are you lonely?  I dare you to look.  Look for opportunities to say, "Hey, me too".

Share humanity in simple, kind gestures.  Share humanity in deep, hurting places.  Share humanity in simple joys.  Dare to connect.

"So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy,  complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.  Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.  Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross."  Philippians 2:1-8 

• Who do you turn your head from? 
• -People who are walking through very difficult seasons of life? 
• -The millions of orphans who are without love?   
• -People who have very different beliefs than you? 
• -The poor and impoverished?

• What is it about their humanity that makes you want to run?

• Where can you share humanity with them? 
• -Can you say, "hey, me too"?

• Are you lonely? 
• -Have you taken time to really look at the One who died to abolish loneliness, Jesus?
• -What are you afraid you might see if you look?

There's something beautiful about going it together.  To walk along side of someone and to say, "Hey, me too.  You're not alone.  I'm with you." 

*What do you say you and I start something?* Find a way to share humanity with someone, then share it with the rest of us in whatever social media you do, with #heymetoo