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Hello! For many years I've been a writer "by any other name". But in this new season of life as a mom I've realized more and more the importance of real connection, community and being a voice of hope in this wild new world. So here I am, officially calling myself a writer, eagerly looking to engage with you as I write to bring hope along the journey. If you're a new mama, an overwhelmed mama, or just find yourself in any new and unfamiliar season of life, I hope you'll find yourself right at home here.
- Monday, November 3, 2014

A bloody mess


Life's a bloody mess.

No, this isn't a post about Halloween and all the bloody zombies and vampires roaming the streets.  And as much as I may wish I had a bloody British accent, that, sadly, is not the case. 

But life is messy.  Is it not?

Anyone who has filled out any kind of application has been a part of our human attempt at cleaning life up.  We choose categories and check boxes to know where we "fit" in this world and to give us a framework of how others fit comparably. 

Single/Married/Divorced
Employed/Unemployed
Democrat/Republican
Believer/Unbeliever
Young/Old
Type A/Not so much

We all have a grid work in our mind.  And when we find a box that looks familiar, we climb in.   From this place we feel safe to answer life's questions about who we are, how we are to live, and how we should view those who check different boxes than we do.  And there's safety in those categories, isn't there?  If I know what box I'm in and I know what box you are in, then I can proceed with relatively little question or risk. 

This sounds so lovely.  But this isn't our reality.  Because my life is a bloody mess. 

And so is yours. 

It would be great if everything was black and white and fit neatly into a box in my grid work.  But
much like some people's relationship status on Facebook, "It's complicated". 

If we were robots, there would be nothing but facts and logic.  We could input the facts and out would spit the only logical answer.  But as humans, we are fearfully and wonderfully made in God's image with hearts that can somehow beat both tenderly and fiercely and with souls that run deep.  It makes life fluid and dynamic and beautifully messy.  There is no tidy little flowchart for life.

Life is a bloody mess. 

Much of life can't be neatly placed in one of our categories.  In fact, true life is often lived when we risk moving out of our safe box and into that little space between the categories.  You see, sitting in the safety of our box may require a sound mind to follow a list of rules, but standing in the gap requires ALL of you.  It takes courage unlike any other.  It's an unknown space.  A space where risks are great, and rewards are greater.  And it's a space where the uncertainty and tension requires all of who we were created to be.

Yes.  Life is a bloody mess. 

We can sit inside the four walls of whatever category we've plopped ourselves in, trusting in the strength of our ever shifting, manmade walls, or we can trust a God who is bigger than the box we're sitting in.  We can trust a God who doesn't need a grid to make sense of life.  A God who sees no categories.  We can trust a God who would send His only son right into this bloody mess of a life we've created to tear down the very barriers we're hiding behind.  Yes, we can choose to live a "safe" life blinded to reality by the four walls of the box we've climbed into.  Or we too, can choose to tear down the barriers and get some skin in the game.

Only the brave dare tear down the walls of familiarity to stand boundless in the gap.  

But before you dive head first into this brave and noble battle, know that living outside the lines isn't a place of earthly honor and praise.  It's a place that will bring out the scoffers and the questions and the whispers.  It's a lonely road less traveled with many bumps and hazards.    It's a place that will bring you to your knees in full dependence on the Lord.   A place that often leaves you marred and always leaves you bloody.

Now, before you decide that standing in the gap is reckless, pointless, and not worth the fight, let me tell you about someone who wasn't afraid to enter into this bloody mess.  His name is Jesus.  He didn't let the fact that He was God or perfect stop Him from eating with the tax collectors, touching the sick, or stooping down to engage an adulterous woman.  In fact, He endured the scoffers and the doubters, the beatings and the ridicule, and a bloody messy death to tear the curtain in half just to get to you.   Oh, what love!

When Jesus' blood ran down that cross on Calvary, His blood covered every category and filled all the spaces in between until there was nothing left to see but Jesus.  He tore down every wall.
"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus"  Galatians 3:28   

As believers, we are a new creation!  We can brave leaving behind the comforts of our familiar boxes and venture out into the unknown because we have a new identity!

Colossians 3:10-11 says, "...put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all."

 Yes, there is apparent safety in sitting quietly and comfortably in whatever box seems to fit us best. 
But there is adventure and freedom and LIFE when we risk moving outside the lines! 


Our goal should not be to leave this life unscathed!   Rather that we would pour our lives out, to the last bloody drop, out of a deep conviction to love as we've been loved.

You can forget fear and stand firmly in the gap, knowing that the same power that stopped at nothing to get to you, is forever living in you.  He is with you.  He will lead you.  He knows the way.

Oh Father, would you give me the courage to step out of what feels safe and into what is sacred.  Would you give me the strength to fight even when I've been wounded, to love when it hurts, to let go of what I'd rather hold onto, to cling only to You

May my eyes burn from ever looking for those who feel unseen.  
May my mind be ever reminded of those who feel forgotten. 
May my ears be tuned to the cry of those desperate for You. 
May my heart beat both tenderly and fiercely for the marginalized. 
May the echo of every word from my mouth be Jesus. 
May my life be poured out as an offering, spent for the glory of God. 
And may I leave this life, not unscathed, but wrung out for You.       


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