I like that quote. True growth happens when you push your limits. You risk. You step out in faith. You do what you once thought impossible and somehow you come out on the other side- not just a survivor, but truly ALIVE.
But, this burning desire can only take us so far. Our mortal physical limitations as well as our human logic, life experiences and mental barriers, confine just how far we can go. Left to our own devices, there is a boundary "line in the sand" that our feet don't dare wander beyond.
Standing on top of a 100 foot cliff, I may work up the courage to slowly make my way to a few feet shy of the edge to look over- heart pounding out of my chest. But I'd never walk right up to the edge and then just go ahead and challenge myself to take one more step. Mostly because, I'm crazy, but I'm not THAT kinda crazy. :) But also because my mind has barriers. I don't necessarily trust that the ground at the edge of a cliff is solid and can hold me. Knowing my mortal limitations I certainly know better than to step off the edge.
This is how I often operate in the area of challenge and growth in my life. I know I'm safe to walk up to a few feet from the edge of a cliff. So I convince myself that my rapid heart rate, the extra burst of adrenaline and the rush of seeing just how high up I am, is me challenging and pushing myself. You know, really changing and growing. But the reality of it is there are borders to my trust. It is a calculated risk. I don't push myself to the point where my feet may fail. I am trapped by my own boundaries. Despite my desires and best efforts, naturally, I am my own growth cap.
Ugh. I hate that.
Do you remember the story in the bible about Peter walking on the water? You know, the one you've heard so many times that you tune out when it's brought up cause it's "overplayed"? The lesson is usually about Peter's lack of faith and how we just need to trust God more. I re-read that story the other day with fresh eyes. (It's Matthew 14:22-33). What struck me about the story this time is not Peter's lack of faith but his HEART!
As the story goes, the disciples are in a boat in the middle of the sea battling a storm. Then Jesus (who happens to be walking on water) walks towards their boat. The disciples freak out thinking something weird is going down with ghosts and what not. But Peter? He's tired of status quo. He wants to trust without borders. He wants to be challenged and grow in a way that his feeble feet can't do on their own. So he asks Jesus to call him out to walk upon the waters; HE ASKS TO BE TAKEN DEEPER THAN HIS FEET COULD EVER WANDER.
I want a heart like Peter's.
So Jesus obliges. He tells Peter to come on out and walk on water. And Peter does. He steps out of the boat and into thee unknown. Disregarding what his mind tells him is senseless. Defying what is humanly possible. Moving beyond his self imposed boundaries. Trusting his savior.
His feet may fail, but his Savior will not.
I'll admit it. I put on a pretty good front. I think I'm rather brave and fairly tough. But the reality of it is, I'm scared. I have mental barriers for reasons. There have been life experiences that have built those barriers. There have been people in my life who have reinforced that there is only so far I can sensibly go. And so I've created trust boundaries. They limit which challenges I'll accept. They stunt my growth.
And yet I fear apathy. I fear being stagnant. I fear status quo.
It's deeper than just putting my big girl panties on and doing something reckless. I shouldn't just obliviously walk off a cliff for the sake of growing.
So what's the difference?
Jesus.
Peter didn't just head out to the lake one weekend with his buddies and say, "I really should challenge myself, you know, really push the boundaries. Hey guys, watch this!" and attempt walking on water.
No. He looked straight at Jesus and said, "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water!" (Matthew 14:28). [And now for Jessica's paraphrase!] "Lord, if you are calling me out onto the water, I will go. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander."
Oh Father, may that be my prayer today and every day. I don't want to be the same tomorrow as I am today. I want to walk boldly into the unknown. I want to grow. I know that in my own strength I'm limited and have set boundaries to my trust. Help me to trust You more. "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger, in the presence of my Savior." (Hillsong - "Oceans" (where feet may fail))
P.S. You should check out this song by Hillsong. It's lyrically weighty and inspired this post!
http://youtu.be/uUCtfsyI-5I
Jess, I loved this post. It is so good. I once heard a behind the music from a band that talks about how Peter also has faith when he starts sinking, he doesn't yell to the guys to throw him a net he says "Lord save me" he knows even when he is doubting his ability, doubting his faith who can save him, Christ alone!
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