I lost a book of mine that I needed for work. And it wasn't a book that I could just pop onto amazon.com, choke up $100 and buy a new one. It was one that I had spent a lot of time with. I had highlighted things, written notes on the sides, and referenced often. It was irreplaceable. And it was gone.
How do you lose a book? Seriously. My frustration level was beyond ok. I was sure it was at work. When it wasn't there, I was sure it was in my car. When it wasn't there, I was sure it was in my house. When it wasn't there, I was sure it was in my friend's car. You get the point.
I lost it people. Do you know that I cleaned my vehicle out 4 times searching for it? Do you know that I got dressed that night and drove back to work to search for it yet again? I called/text anyone and everyone who I'd come into contact with in the last week on the off chance that maybe they saw me with it or knew where I may have placed it. I was in the middle of a conversation with a friend about something completely unrelated and I jumped up and ran to the bathroom cupboard to see if by chance when I put away the folded towels I inadvertently put my book in with them. Crazy, right? Why would I put my book in with the towels? I don't know, people, but I was desperate. I'd look anywhere and do anything to find that book. I couldn't shake it. I couldn't get it out of my mind. I was constantly thinking about where it could be, and how I could find it.
I even had plenty of awesome distractions that day that should have helped take my mind off it. But do you think they did? NO! WHAT IN THE WORLD?!? It was always there, just lingering.
My coworker who had the same book would have let me make a copy of it, but I didn't want her copy. I wanted my book. It was unique and it was irreplaceable.
I tried to forget about it. "It's a book, Jess. Seriously. In the big scheme of things does it really matter? No. Let it go." Fat chance.
I was obsessed. Crazed. And was determined to find that book. It consumed my thoughts and I couldn't rest until it was found. (Can you imagine what I would be like if I had lost my phone? Soul Stirrings: Nomophobia ;) heehee)
I can't help but think that this is how God feels about us.
"So he told them this parable: 'What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost!' Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.' Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp and sweep the house and seek diligently until she finds it? And when she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors, saying, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin that I had lost.' Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents.'" Luke 15:3-10He has 99 others. In the big scheme of things, it's just a sheep. Does it really matter? He left the 99 to pursue the one that was lost. I'd say it matters to Him. She has 9 other coins. The oil she burned in her lamp to look for the coin at night probably cost her more than the coin was worth. That didn't stop her. She could have waited until daylight, gotten a good night's sleep and then looked for it. But she didn't.
This is how God pursues us. No holds barred. He's got you on His mind constantly. His longing is for you. No distance is too far. No sacrifice is too great. Relentless.
I found my book. No, it wasn't stuck between my towels. I found it hiding inside another notebook of mine at work. And let me tell you people, I rejoiced! It was an immediate weight lifted off my shoulders. I felt like someone injected me with a shot of feel good medicine. If I wasn't at work, I probably would have busted out in a solo dance party. All those people that I called/text when I lost the book? (You know, the people that I was pretty sure had accidentally taken my book? After all, it couldn't have been MY fault.) Well I text them right away to let them know the good news. And we rejoiced together. (Their rejoicing may have been more out of relief that they wouldn't have to deal with a crazy lady anymore, but hey, we rejoiced none the less.) I think a lot could have gone wrong that day and I wouldn't have even noticed. The lost was found and I was a happy girl."I am my beloved's and His desire is for me." Song of Solomon 7:10
To think that the God of the universe is relentless in His hot pursuit of me. That even though He has 99 others, He wants me. His fingerprints are all over me. He's "highlighted" and "taken notes" on me that make me irreplaceable and lovely in His eyes. And He rejoices over me.
God's own little dance party in heaven over ME! The lost has been found! Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta get this solo dance party started."The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing." Zeph 3:17
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