She shoots, SHE SCOOOOOORES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was at the gym today running on a treadmill that faced the basketball court.  (Before I go on, I feel the need to clarify for all those who have read my previous blog regarding my disdain for running.  I still don't enjoy running.  Not even a little bit.  But I am doing it for the discipline of it. I'd hate to give you all the wrong impression.... =).....  moving along....)

So, as I'm running, I'm watching this skinny little kid who looked to be 10 years old shooting around.  I didn't even have to ask him what he was doing, or be in the gym to hear him to know what was going on. 

"IT'S ALL TIED UP, WITH 5 SECONDS LEFT IN THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME! IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THIS PLAY  RIGHT HERE FOLKS!  THEY INBOUND THE BALL TO KEVIN, HE DRIBBLES PAST THE FIRST DEFENDER, THERE'S 3 SECONDS LEFT!  HE SPINS, 2 SECONDS, PULLS UP, 1 SECOND, HE SHOOTS--------------HE SCOOOOOOOOOOOORES!!!!!!!!  THEY WIN!!!!  THE HOME TEAM WINS!!!!!  THE CROWD GOES WILD AND STORMS THE COURT AS KEVIN HITS THE GAME WINNING SHOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

It was adorable watching him fist pump in the air yelling into the sky with all the unabashed excitement that an innocent 10 year old has.  Took me back. 

Then he spotted me.  He realized that he wasn't alone in his dream world and something changed.  All of a sudden he was trying to dribble between his legs, pausing to look up to see if I was watching.  Then he tried to shoot the 3 (which his tiny little body couldn't quite do) only to bashfully look over to me, hoping I didn't see the airball.  I couldn't help but notice the dramatic change that happened before he realized he had an onlooker and after he made this realization.

Oh how I can relate.  God has equipped me to walk fully in the way He has prepared for me.  Not only has He equipped me, but He promises to lead me and guide me in the way I should go.  (Isaiah 30:21  Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'")  I walk with Him.  We talk all the time. 

He knows my heart.  He knows the way.  And I know Him.  

I find that when I am grounded in that truth; when I have a childlike spirit that trusts that my Daddy has good in store for ME, it's not hard to make decisions.  To walk forward in confidence knowing that He fashioned my heart and that my heart is for Him and His glory; it leaves no room for hesitation or doubt.  I hit that shot all day, every time.

But when I stop and look around, I see the eyes that are on me.  I feel the weight of the championship game.  I sense the crowd's anticipation.  Suddenly, it's not the routine shot I've hit a thousand times.  Suddenly I'm wondering what the onlookers will think of me if I miss the shot.  I wonder if it would look cooler if I hit the three or drive to the hoop shooting over the opponent.  I worry that I don't have the skills to hit this shot after all.  I'm thinking there's probably someone else on my team who's a better shooter, and maybe I ought to pass it to them.  So many questions, so much doubt.

I've realized that doubting myself is really doubting God.  It's allowing my fear of what others may think of me, or my fear of failure, or my fear of looking stupid trump the unshifting presence and guidance of my heavenly Father.  It's hearing and listening to the noise of this world over His still small voice.

As a child, I've hit the game winning shot in many a games played in my mind when no one was watching.  Oh God today may I shoot that shot with a world full of eyes on me and in spite of an onslaught of lies in the shape of darts that are flying at me.  May I shoot that shot with all the confidence of a 10 year old, knowing that it's going in before it even leaves my hands.  Not because I am the best shooter that ever lived.  Not because I'll never get it wrong.  But because He invented this game.  He created the playbook.  He designed the play and prepared the player.  He trusts me to take the game winning shot.  Do I trust Him enough to shoot it?

Nothing but net.